CSI: Detective Elderly Queen Yammers On and On and On
by Pasadena Adjacent
Hair and make-up Margaret Finnegan Salon Studios
I’ve spent another long night at the Dome (1) of Ms Havisham. Circumstances for which I attribute the waxy appearance of my current complexion. I find Ms Havisham to be the most reliable moll of the Sybil trio and a true Zippy Chippy. Her orb has served admirably as a stimulating environment for pondering the events of the last nine CSI: posts.
It’s come to my attention that Pasadena Adjacent has littered her blog with evidential bread crumbs (2). A pathetic cry for attention I suppose. The result owing to the unfortunate circumstances surrounding her birth. Born breech and refusing Ritalin, she has become a duplicitous rube in what appears to be a crime scene.
Let us start at the beginning CSI: #1. We discover “Hearts of Palm” blood spread across the oven over at Pasadena Adjacent’s. Mary Kathleen O’Looney with the help of Altadena Hiker and her lab, break into P.A.’s home. MKO confuses the blood with wine and manages to get her tongue stuck to the oven. Several ceramic tiles go missing. No one wants Tovah. CSI#1: contaminated with MKO spit.
CSI#2 From great heights Pasadena Adjacent alerts us to the disappearance of Palm Axis. Some suspect Indians. With only six responses (return commentors not counted) few seem interested,. PA suffers from Ivy envy,…another crumb? She begins to see sweet Petrea as the root of her unpopularity. Little “Goody Two Shoes” Petrea. Everyone competes to be the most clever commentor on her blog and she cruelly encourages it. More on her later. Earlier, P.A. found what she believed to be a fellow soul mate in Altadena Hiker. A woman she recognized as a artist whacked with low self esteem, prone to bouts of competition and flights of artistic envy. PA will ultimately be disappointed when she discovers AH speaks French and is even more competitive then herself (the missing tiles, spilling the beans on Capote, an attraction to handcuffs). Further research has led me to AH’s wanted poster over at the Highland Park Police Museum. She’s known as the “ledenhosen” or “leak N stalker” spelled backwards. Code for Ordo Templi Orientis. A German brotherhood of magicians and spies. AH is not Norwedish.
CSI:#3: More interest starts to occur among commentors. “Over Achiever” Petrea (Marcia spelled backwards) shows up when she discovers her missing UFO. We’re introduced to the darker elements. Alien abduction, Cult of the Thelmas, Whore of Babalon, Sadistic Lover and Master Jack Parsons, Pasadena Adjacent’s High School prom date and the introduction to the upcoming Anti-Christ who will be known by the name “Moon Child”. PA is a cancer. (READ THE LINKS) Miss Priss Petrea did. Attention seems to be diverted from missing Palm Axis for now.
CSI:#4 Trash Tuesday brings gifts from Jack. An oribital lamp pointing to the cosmos, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, Jacks FBI file, a keepsake. (The Rosenberg children were raised by the author of the song “Strange Fruit” a part of the David Wallace Foster post ..another crumb) Increasing commentor interest. You people make no sense.
CSI:#5 Palm Axis reappears in the form of bad poetry and a check writen out for the services of Altadena Hiker. Was Palm Axis luring AH into a potential trap? If so, Palm must have known Altadena Hiker would leap at the money therefor implicating herself. She fell for the lettus. As much as she might protest against her guilt, a background of professed familiarity with kitchen devises could only impinge apon her questionable character. Now Pasadena Adjacent’s walking partner comes in and claims to know the where abouts of Palm Axis. According to Mary, Palm Axis He/She/corporate entity isn’t missing at all, but under the 134 freeway. Was she covering up a murder for the sake of Pasadena Adjacent? “Teachers Pet” Petrea leaves a particularly cryptic comment “I”… hmmm. Pasadena Adjacent becomes enraged at her commentors and starts to question them unmercifully. She’s starting to feel the accusatory finger of the law pointing in her direction. They’re tooting the wrong ringer.
On the recommendation of Ms Havisham, the Paul Drake Detective agency contacts me and transfers the case over to my care. Once I arrive upon the scene, the rats jump ship (Susan, Laurie, Keith). The others start accusing one another. It’s an ugly business, but a hard boiled gum shoe such as myself, am accustomed to such vulgarities. In CSI:#6 we’re greeted with a photo of a bloodied palm and a snuff film of the Scholl Canyon landfill, effectionaltly known as the LA dump and the inspiration to Pasadena Adjacent’s header and Palm Axis’ poem. A voice is heard asking questions. Mm or Mary? an Mm will later confess. We think it’s walking Mary, Steph’s sketching services are employed. Comments increase… “Head of the Class” Petrea gets cheeky, Margaret continues to be obsessed with fashion and I began putting the suspects behind the eight ball.
To USElaine: ”You Y-O-U Dolly, that’s right, you heard me. Are you really Elaine the “true and pure” or Dolly Clone the owner of that Willits strip club “The Left Nut”? Interesting your early reminder to the CDPB followers to post their circles…well known symbol of the occult. Are you not a friend of Jack Parsons? Bill W spelled backwards. While we’re on the subject, isn’t USElaine code for electropsychometer? Did Palm Axis stumble onto your evil plans for world domination?”
She continues to try to switch the program to other crime dramas
To Petrea: “all sunshine and light, alas you show a darker side. Am I to believe it’s you speaking or are you nothing more then a convenient mouth piece for the cult of the City Daily Photo Bloggers… Aha! Did you think you could hide this clever ruse from me? Headquartered in Paris?…again, Aha! The Left Nut in Willits is the current headquarters of your deviant world following. Did Palm Axis know too much? was Pasadena Adjacent chosen as the unwitting dupe in your devious plot? Have you been hanging out with the Cat Lady? Did I say two blogs? I don’t recall alluding to the death of two blogs…”
She thought her acting chops could cover her discomfort, the squirmer
Confession of Mm or Walking/Riding with Mary “One little murder and look what you get dragged into…it had to be done…all that endless videotaping of god knows what…those hikes couldn’t have led to anything good, we both knew it…why go to remote locations if not to drop a body? Deep down, she wanted to die, besides, who could take any more of that rambling and what the hell is a palm axis anyway? I’m sure everyone will agree that it had to be stopped, if only for the sake of national security and the holidays–but i guess i need to disappear now, please don’t anyone try to find me–”
CSI: #7 the stooley Mary “Rat” Kathleen O”Looney, has been released from Pasadena Adjacent’s stove by the aid of Petrea and Altadena Hiker. Our favorite wet brain is spilling her guts to the best of her memory in an effort to implicate Pasadena Adjacent whom she harbors repressed sexual feelings towards (the cheese). She also hates midgets and desires to see the Oscar Meyer Wiener guy run out of South Pasadena. AH adds to the folly with additional information in an attempt to destroy the master/slave bond between PA and Jack Parsons whose torso she greatly admires. Read my final comment and watch the video
CSI: #8 Pasadena Adjacent may be a tad dyslexic but isn’t one to stick around and be wrongly accused of killing her boss. She engages in a high speed chase thats shown on the Fox Family News Network. She thinks her wood gun can protect her from the advancement of the Photo City Daily Cult but she will find herself sorely mistaken. In the meantime the minds of commentors turn to lurid and deviant sexual practices (Vanda). The more (principled) of the lot have dropped out, although Tash, (an apostate of the City Daily Photo Cult), continues to send me undercover jpgs . Some just say nothing (a certain local known as a Black Bumper Mennonite). A sick lot Pasadena Adjacent has been keeping for company, including Cafe Observer/Dog : I’ll be frank (pun) your morphing persona confuses me and I’m having trouble placing you in my blog epic. Read final comment
CSI:#9 Palm Adjacent’s flight from the law has not gone well for her. She’s under arrest and locked up on the fifth floor of the Jet Propulsion Labratory on a ward named in honor of Mary Katherine O’Looney. Petrea Parsons Fuller Blye Hubbard Crowley Bruchard PHD/MD ( on her way to the front of the class) is currently over at Ms Havisham’s dome. She takes a moment to swipe Ms Havisham’s door jamb. Is that a surgical glove on her hand? (see videos from CSI:9 and the Tea Party) I thought I saw the slightest hint of a bracelet. Miss Mary Kathleen O’Looney is screaming to the tune of “In the Mood” and spinning in circles, orbs and arcs. That ratty little moon child!
Thanks to my non blogger commentors who may one day join this mad circle. D. your ahead of the curve!
(1)reference to Buck Minster Fuller on the Business card of Dr. Bruchard (2)“bad taste and ill constructed metaphors” CSI:#9 (3) Dave Jurasevich
Ueh, golly. Dolly? It was Gene Parsons, and as far as I know he still has both nuts and noggin intact, but I haven’t chatted with him in over a year. My bicycle helmet is fashioned after an 8 ball, made by a brand called “Nutcase”. Is that what this is all about? Have you even seen the ending of “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”? Do you not know about the hidden palm of Petrea? Hiding in plain sight?
This post has it all, doesn’t it? No one will ever find me! I’m in the old haunts of Old Town. Beware!
Is the game still afoot or is le jeu est fini? Because I think I figured it out. Palm Axis and PA are lovers, same-sex lovers, hiding from a hostile, post yes-on-8 world. The mother, Ramona, a well known Pasadena socialite, who has many younger yet discreet lovers, has always wanted PA to marry his or her first cousin. As, obviously, has been the custom in their family for generations. So PA & PA faked a murder/suicide to avoid yet another inter-familial relationship.
Ok. Must we really implicate poor Princess Leia’s hair in this sordid mystery? Hasn’t Carrie Fisher suffered enough? Debbie Reynolds as a mother. Eddie Fisher as a father. And now, despite her own good intentions, she’s being tossed willy nilly in this ocean of madness. No wonder her new memoir is entitled Wishful Drinking.
I just realized that I’m caught up in this madcap affair. I jumped ship? That doesn’t sound like me.
Palm Adjacent?
“Some just say nothing.” Aaah, you did notice! You scared your Ben away!
Or, was he put away?…
I am definitely not cool enough to figure any of this out.
Me neither.
Detective Elderly Queen:
Oh my! Looks to me as if the crowds are turning on you Pasadena Adjacent. Never you mind deary, hurry along now and don’t forget to take your medicine (NURSE!). You’re “arts and crafts” class is awaiting you.
OMG – You changed the photo. This one with the cockeyed wig is even more hilarious.
You mean there’s something to figure out?
Wow, talk about a wheel comin’ off the bus! If I’m ahead of the curve it’s only because I’ve ran off the road while lookin’ at the anti-christ/moonchild blown into the atmosphere, as shown in the lovely apocalyptic photo posted… which I assume was taken a split second after the hydrogen bomb exploded at the JPL in Pasedena. I’m sure now that it was the car bomb
http://pasadenaadjacent.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/life.jpg
detonated by guy on bus seated behind cat lady both of which were clearly depicted many blogs ago.
http://pasadenaadjacent.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/two_calico_full.jpg This is all perfectly obvious and I feel confident that a similar fate has befell Palm Axis. Gotta go, Buckminster Fuller’s ghost is in the backyard again makin’ the dog bark.
*thanks to Sara Palin for makin’ it acceptable to be droppin’ my “g”s
I love the glowing fog-blanket with the moon and planets, by the way. Did you photograph that? (Whoever “you” are?)
Miss Margaret seems to be influenced by Frida Karlo. Also, thank goodness for on-line dictionaries. So, IS THE CRIME SOLVED??? I see that all is there but I’m still so confused. Except for the nice happy LA : )
So walking Mary has disappeared and wishes not to be found. I believe she had some valid points to make about Palms. In the meantime, Ms Havisham’s dome turns out to be a deleted blog. Where’s the Elderly Detective Queen now? I must say, the Queen looks an awful lot like Vanessa Redgrave.
I’m with D. I think the guy behind the cat lady with the snappy shoes is the car bomber. Turned Palm into saw dust. I don’t wish to meet up with Buck Mister Fullers ghost although I did hear him speak one when we were students.
Those City Daily Photo Bloggers continue to be a clannish gang.
So, uh, it’s… it’s been a while since we’ve, uh… you know… heard anything here.
Pasadena Adjacent:
I made ash trays for everyone on the staff of the fifth floor.They like me now, so they’ve leangthened my chain and given me internet privileges.
I don’t know whats going on, on the outside. My avitar has gone black, Detective Eldery Queen no longer visits and my link to Ms Havisham has gone dead. Geez, the only people who visit me these days besides the staff, are Ben and the tech support team over at wordpress. I miss Jack!!!!!!!!!! (hot link to your left)
Elaine: Gene Parsons? please, I only listen to the cutting edge tunes of Sunny Trotta over at the Dragon Pearl. Try to keep up. That palm is nothing more then a cheap clone. Another sad and sorry gesture on the part of the “City Daily Photo Pushers” to gain world domination.
Miss Havisham: are the boys over at WordPress holding you hostage? why does it always snow in Pasadena?
Detective AH: The majority of your theory is brilliant, logical and perhaps true. Especially the details you’ve gathered on Ramona. Commentor D. is my cousin and Ramona’s favorite. If she could whack off D’s mate B, she’d die a happy socialite. P.S. her decorated christmas tree was the first to sell at the Arcadia Methodist Hospital fund raiser. Queen V did the decorations. She’d want you to know that and would tell you so if she were not on a plane to Costa Rica.
Margaret: Implicate, what can you possibly mean? you did the hair without any collusion on the part of Ms Havisham. Don’t you remember? You were wearing a jeweled sweater.
Susan C. you disappeared from the commentors after CSI:#01. Never a good idea if you don’t want to be cut out of the action. An exception to the rule is Ben, who rarely comments thus showing an unwillingness to defend himself or press charges.
Petrea: getting cheeky again
CO: Ben’s “part” is about to get larger
Laurie: when you speak of not being cool you bring a tear to my eye. I’ve re-edited and enlarged your part. You are now a confused rat who jumped ship but returned.
D.: Your ability to play the game speaks well of our DNA connection. Learning disabilities and dropping g’s speaks accurately of our Ozarkwegian roots. But….you would be wrong. I’m still on the fifth floor. I’m lonely for Jack. Whose Buck Minster Fuller? Ben goes to Fuller seminary college, any relation?
Tash: Frida Karlo? (hot link to your left)
now your screwing with me. Detective Elderly Queen revealed you as an apostate and link to Mooney jpgs.
John E: Has Mary disappeared? She did cancel our “Walking with Mary” appointment this morning. Said something about editing the last two chapters of some woman’s “Be Your Better Self” book.
Elaine: I know nothing, I’m locked up.
Hillbilly blood runs deep. Never good at who-did-its. If I am incorrect in my analysis, how do you explain the colorful radioactive sunsets we’re enjoying in our leadlined bio-suits? I know of a deceased R. Buckminster Fuller who designed the first geodesic dome and came up many more innovative designs and ideas eons ahead of their time. Cars, self-contained houses, much more; an odd, brilliant fellow. Must see items:
http://www.washedashore.com/projects/dymax/pictures.html
http://www.thehenryford.org/museum/dymaxion.aspx
If we were deep in Alabama backwoods, Ramona’s long held fantasy wouldn’t be given a second thought. B thinks the whole thing is harmless but weird as does the rest of the country. As for Ben’s part getting larger…does that mean the part in his hair or is there some double or triple entendre in all this? I’m anxious for the much anticipated moonchild. This will be Ramona’s first antichrist-grandmoonchild. She’ll be estatic.